That might be surprising for someone who has worked for the same company since the onset of her career, but it’s true. I’ve quit, multiple times, from leadership roles in organizations. Let’s talk about why.
Nearly 51% of the U.S. population age 16 and over, or 124.7 million people, informally helped their neighbors…at the height of the pandemic…more than 23% of people in that age group, or 60.7 million, said they formally volunteered through an organization during the same period.
https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2023/01/volunteering-and-civic-life-in-america.html
I’m one of those 23% who, through a combination of factors like an influx of free time due to the erasure of social obligations and a general drive to be a better person, chose to join multiple organizations as a volunteer in 2020. But because of the climate during that time, there wasn’t a lot of in-person volunteering opportunities so instead, I ended up being put on boards. To me, this was an incredible honor to be appointed to a board of directors position – I felt very young and inexperienced to hold those positions but was determined to put forth the effort to be the best board member I could be. Later, there were board positions and committee chair positions that I was asked to step into, rather than just volunteer for. These new positions came with a heavier obligation and in some cases, fiduciary duties.
Since 2020, I have been involved with five different organizations, been a board member for three of them, been committee chair on four of them, been asked to either join the board or head up a committee for two of them, and I’ve QUIT three of them. So I’m a quitter.
Like many other professionals my age, and especially as a woman, I have a very difficult time saying no to people. I say yes because they need or help, or it’s a great opportunity for me to learn, or, quite frankly, because it’s a boost to the ego. But saying yes to so many things inevitably leads to being stretched too thin.
Your default response should be “no.”
I heard this recently at a conference and it felt so inherently wrong to me, as a people-pleasing, always ready to help, person. But maybe if I had put that into practice, I wouldn’t have quit so many things. Because the most valuable thing you possess is your time and practicing discernment in how, where, and with whom you spend it with is a worthwhile endeavor. I said yes for the wrong reasons, and I quit for the right ones – because I valued my time.
I quit as a board member of two organizations because their values didn’t align with mine. I was inspired by Alex Demczak’s book The Sale to make difficult decisions and disappoint people to maintain my integrity. I have yet to read a book since that has compelled me so powerfully to reflect on myself and how and who I let represent me and what I stand for.
I recently declined a nomination to another board and will not be continuing on a chair of a committee after the term expires, despite the incredible opportunities it’s provided me. I’ve whittled my involvement down to two very industry-relevant organizations that feed my passions and expound on my knowledge.
Saying “no” doesn’t feel good. I don’t enjoy disappointing people or creating more work for them when they have to replace me. But I also came to realize that I really hate disappointing myself. Whether that was from being involved in organizations that compromised my integrity or ones that didn’t respect my time, or even ones that don’t appreciate anyone advocating for something different. The resume or ego boost isn’t worth compromising yourself.
Just like you take the time to run an inventory of your closet, your pantry, your storage room, deciding what needs to go so you can make room for the new and improved (or unexpired), it’s worth the time to take inventory of who you give your time to, outside of your job. Are you excited about a committee meeting, or are you dreading it? Would you rather spend some time with family or take that fitness class you never seem to have time for? When you start viewing time as your most valuable resource, it because a lot easier to be a quitter like me.
